Referee death reveals societal failure

"Stay in a child's place!" This command was directed at me many times as a youngster. My mom used to let me know that I was crossing a line and to take a step back. I didn't like hearing it because it made me feel as if my place as a child was less than that of an adult.

I was wrong. My mom was protecting me. She planted the seeds of the mantra I now use in my professional life - Know. Your. Role. As a whole, our kids do not know their roles. They call us by our first names and answer "What!" when called. Many have little respect for their parents and almost none for other adults.

We have all heard about a team taking on the personality of its coach. Kids take on the personalities of their parents as well. Disrespectful parents often produce disrespectful children. The death of youth soccer referee Ricardo Portillo as the result of being punched by a 17-year-old player reveals a complete societal failure in the area of respect.

I have written extensively about referee assaults. Some states even have "referee assault" on the books as a felony. Florida will give you up to five years in prison for it. Still, referees are treated poorly - as if they have some stake in athletic contests beyond calling them fairly.

You can't watch a game of any kind on any level without someone complaining about the officiating. Referees are called names, cursed at, assaulted and now they're getting killed. The young man accused of killing Portillo did not know his role. He's a player. It's not his job to challenge the official. As a kid, it's certainly not his place to raise his hand to an adult.

Ricardo Portillo was a father himself and his family will miss him. Watch the NBC Latino story below about what his daughter had to say about the incident (email subscribers click here).



We must show greater respect for referees and teach our children to respect adults in general. How we raise and coach our kids will determine which team they will be on. Remember, prison uniforms have bright colors and numbers on them too.