Do you know your role?

All this can be yours, if...the sportsmanship is right!

In over three years and 500+ posts, I have often referred to the "Know Your Role" concept. Most negative issues in youth sports would be avoided if we would all learn and remain in our respective roles. Coaches coach. Athletes play. Refs keep order. Fans cheer. The idea of knowing your role is simple and seems easy to follow. On the other hand, simple concepts are seldom easy to execute. For example, to win the gold medal in the Olympic 100 meters, all you have to do is run faster than Usain Bolt. Pretty simple task, huh? Well, good luck with that.

There's a similar difficulty in maintaining our roles in youth sports. As fans (parents especially), we can't help but yell instructions to our kids at the same time the coaches are tyring to talk to them. We don't see it as disrespecting the coach or embarrassing our kids. We're just trying to help. Besides, we tell our kids what to do most of the time anyway. The coach should know how to deal with it. Balderdash! We relinquish control of our kids everyday to trusted adults. When you have an issue with your child's teacher, you don't walk into their classroom and yell, "Mr. Alexander doesn't know what he's doing! Here's the correct way to write an equation in Slope-Intercept form."

You arrange to meet with the teacher privately. The two of you may talk one-on-one or you may include the principal or other school administrator. You would never dream of undermining the teacher's authority in front of the kids. So, why do we do it on the athletic field? If your kid isn't on the school's Honor Roll, do you storm into the Principal's office and accuse him or her of favoritism? Nope, you go home and encourage your child to do better. Again, why not do that on the athletic field? Don't worry. There is a path to knowing your role and improving the sports experience for your kids. Take the self-test below and see how you stack up.

Do you know your role?

• I realize there are only four roles in sport - player, coach, official or fan - and I pick one and respect the others.
• I understand that my child is the participant, not me, and my expectations are based on my child's needs, not mine.
• I avoid "coaching" from the stands and I also avoid criticizing officials, coaches and opposing players.
• I seek to be a positive and encouraging fan - applauding good plays for both teams.
• If I coach my child's team, I seek to model appropriate behavior and sportsmanship.

This is a a self-assessment, but the real test will come at your child's game. If all five statements describe you, then congratulations! You are contributing to a more enriching sports eperience for kids. Conversely, if some of these statements describe behaviors you need to aspire to, then you know what has to be done. The self-test appears in the booklet Through a Child's Eyes...A Parents' Guide to Improving Youth Sports. It's available to your organization for free through the Sportsmanship Initiative's Team Players Program. Just click here to sign up. Your kids, your league and your community will thank you for it. Until next time...

Be a Good Sport!

-Sol

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Cowboys agree to babysit Dez Bryant

Character and talent do not have an inverse relationship. Good players don't always have "questionable" backgrounds. As a matter of fact, most good players are upstanding young people. They come from good homes and are raised by good parents. However, professional sports sometimes lead us to believe otherwise. Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant was charged with domestic assault earlier this summer stemming from and incident with his mom. Consequently, Dallas has agreed to terms with Bryant on an individual conduct policy. It covers Bryant's conduct away from the field. According to ESPN.com, here are some of the rules Bryant must abide by this season:

• A midnight curfew. If he's going to miss curfew, team officials must know beforehand.
• No alcohol.
• He cannot attend any strip clubs and can only attend nightclubs that are approved by the team and must have a security team accompany him to the club. 
• He must attend counseling sessions twice a week.
• A rotating three-man security team will have one man with Bryant at all times.
• Members of the security team will drive Bryant to practices, games and team functions.

A team should never create a special set of rules for an individual athlete. Team rules should be clear, fair and easy to follow for everyone. By agreeing to these terms with Bryant, the Cowboys have placed one man above the rest of the team. This will likely spell trouble as the team tries to win games in the ultra-competitive NFL and look after a star player at the same time. Please don't let a similar situation occur on your youth team. Sure, some kids need more help with certain things than others. We just can't allow gifted athletes to get away with behaviors we wouldn't tolerate from anyone else.

Personally, I think every coach should have a line. There has to be a point of no return - a point where you tell the kid that in order to play, he has to play somewhere else. For me, parents are the line. Dez Brant is charged with domestic assault against his mother. I don't know if he really did it or if the case will go anywhere legally. I do know the Cowboys think his behavior warrants a separate set of rules. That would do it for me. I refuse and have refused to coach athletes who disrespect their parents. If a kid won't listen to his mom or dad, there's nothing I can do for him. He'll probably disrespect me the first chance he gets. Teach and develop young people as best you can. Have rules. Have standards. Have integrity. You are a coach - not a babysitter. Until next time...

Be a Good Sport!

-Sol

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Cardinals build homes in storm-ravaged Joplin

We hear about devastating storms all the time. News crews broadcast from the location for a day or two - then nothing. You never really know what happened to the families. You never really know if they found a place to live or if the community ever got back on its feet. Severe tornadoes hit Joplin, Mo. in the spring of 2011. Lives, homes and businesses were lost. A community was devastated. The call went out for help and Americans answered. Help came from all over this great land. Even our sports teams got involved.

The St. Louis Cardinals, Blues and Rams along with the Kansas City Chiefs and Royals all descended on Joplin to help with the restoration effort. Players, coaches and front office executives gave their time, talent and treasure to help others in a time of great need. While the initial push got the recovery effort going, rebuilding Joplin will be a years-long effort. Baseball teams know a thing or two about long efforts. The Cardinals played the longest game of the 2012 season on Sunday - a 19-inning marathon against the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Baseball games don't have clocks. It's not over until it's over. That mentality is an asset when you're still helping those in need more than a year after the storms. Members of the Cardinals coaching and front office staff traveled to Joplin on Monday to team with Habitat for Humanity. The goal was to build five homes in a single day. Fox2Now has more in the story below (email subscribers click here).


Sports has an enormous influence on society and it's good when teams can use their influence and resources to help others. It's even better when they realize that money alone won't get it done. Checks are great, but checking on someone is even better. That's a winner! Until next time...

Be a Good Sport!

-Sol

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Calling All Nerds!

This following message is intended for the consumption of nerds and those who love them. All other intellectually inferior beings please turn away from your computer screens...now (email subscribers click here).

Yes, this a rallying cry for nerds. Do you know everything? Do you think you know everything? Do you annoy people in social settings with your useless knowledge? Do you like helping young people go to college? If you answered 'yes' to any or all of these questions, we want you to join us for Trivia Night 2012. The Sports Commission Associates produces this event to support the Sportsmanship Scholarship - which now awards $5,000 annually to a deserving St. Louis area senior who exhibits outstanding sportsmanship on the field of play. Trivia Night serves as the primary fundraiser for the scholarship and we need your help.

Trivia Night is next Saturday, August 25 at Temple Israel in Creve Coeur. Doors open at 6 p.m. and the trivia begins at 7 p.m. Tom Ackerman of KMOX Radio is our host and it will be a great time. Beverages will be provided, just B.Y.O.F. (Bring Your Own Food). One more thing - I intend to win this year. So, I need a team. This means you! For only $25, you get the honor of teaming with the biggest, strongest nerd you know. If you're feeling really confident, you can purchase a table for you and seven friends for $200. All kidding aside, the Sportsmanship Scholarship has given a total of $20,000 in scholarships in only four years.

Trent Ross, Jimmy Myers, Megan Wood, Katie Kennedy, Jason Grant, Zasmine Johnson, Luke Schlueter, Natalie Williams, and Zachary Boatman are all in school right now because of you. Click on this link to register for Trivia Night 2012 or click on the tab at the top of this homepage of the same name. Below, you'll see a group photo of this year's winners and a lady who bears an uncanny resemblance to one of the greatest Olympians ever. Nah, couldn't be. Until next time...

Be a Good Sport!

-Sol

From L-R: Zachary Boatman, Natalie Williams, Big Sol, JJK and Susan Schlueter

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300-pound seventh-grader banned from Pee Wee league

Elijah Earnhardt is 12-years-old and he was looking forward to playing in the Mesquite Pee Wee Football Association this fall. Those plans were put on-hold when league officials informed him and his family that Elijah would not be able to play this season. Why? Well, Elijah is 6'1 and weighs nearly 300 pounds. The league limit is 135. Watch the MyFoxDFW.com story below for more details (email subscribers click here).

Dallas News | myFOXdfw.com

Normally, I would be ranting and raving about how they should let the kid play. Not enough of our kids are active. Why are league officials holding this young man back? I would be wrong if I did all that. As you saw in the video, Elijah is eligible to play in his school's league. He just can't play Pee Wee football where the weight limit is 135 pounds. "But Sol, his coach said there are other kids in the league that weigh over 135. They just put an X on their helmets and they can only be linemen."

OK...two things about that. First, let's say there are other kids in the league who are over the weight limit. What do you think they weigh - 150, 175, 200 pounds maybe? At the heaviest, they're giving up at least 100 pounds to Elijah. The best athletes in the world aren't asked to compete against others who are 100 pounds heavier than they are. Here in St. Louis, the Rams have Steven Jackson. He's a big running back. Jackson's 6'3, 240 and has 5% bodyfat. However, he wouldn't last more than a few plays if he were put on the offensive line and had to routinely block 300-pound defensive linemen. Any kid in a Pee Wee league would be at a total disadvantage against Elijah.

Some people are going to get mad at me for this next point, but it needs to be expressed. Our kids are too big. There's no way around it. I know there are medical anomalies all the time, but an otherwise healthy seventh-grader should not be 300 pounds - or 200 pounds for that matter. Their bones, ligaments, tendons and vital organs are still 12. Yet, so many are double the size they should be. We feed them far too much junk and they get far too little exercise. The results of our collective irresponsibility as parents and those who care about children are now showing up on athletic fields.

They want to play and should be able to play, but it's becoming too dangerous for them to play. I'm not just talking about the 300-pound kid landing on your 140-pound kid. The health of the 300-pound kid has to be protected as well. Big kids are always pushed toward football, but hardly anyone checks to see if they're healthy enough to play. We have to do better. As parents, we need to prepare more home-cooked meals and those meals must include more vegetables, lean proteins and fewer carbohydrates. We have thousands of dollars worth of video game equipment, laptops, desktops and phones in our homes, but we have no dollars worth of exercise equipment.

Coaches can't have every post-game meal at the nearest and cheapest fast food restaurant. Take the kids where there are healthier options. We can all do more to encourage our school leaders and elected officials to increase the physical education requirements in our states. If we don't stem the tide now and I mean right now, the 800-pound gorilla in the room won't be an actual gorilla. It'll be your kid. Until next time...

Be a Good Sport!

-Sol

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Chad Johnson's release has lessons for youth coaches

I received a text message from a friend Tuesday night asking if I was watching HBO. 'Hard Knocks' was on and they were showing Miami Dolphins head coach Joe Philbin actually cutting wide receiver Chad Johnson from the team. It was happening live on national television. Johnson was arrested last weekend on misdemeanor domestic violence charges stemming from an altercation with his new wife, reality TV star Evelyn Lozada. Coach Philbin met with Johnson in his office after the receiver's release from jail. Here's what aired on HBO (email subscribers click here).



Both men handled the meeting with class and respect. Neither man raised his voice nor expressed any hostilities. This is a good example of how to talk to your players. Johnson is in a tough situation. His alleged actions have brought negative attention to his team and the coach had to address it. As you can see in the video, Coach Philbin's decision was made before Johnson walked in the office. However, he let Johnson say his peace and spoke to his player like a human being.

Granted, a conversation with a kid and/or his parents would be somewhat different. The goals of an NFL team and a youth team are different. Coach Philbin's job is to win games. He does not have time to address Johnson's maturity or marital issues. On the other hand, the youth coach should focus on development of the young person. You and the parents need to take steps to correct the negative behavior so it doesn't further damage the kid or his teammates. With that in mind, Coach Philbin provides a good blueprint on how to address issues on your team. Be firm. Be direct. Be respectful. Until next time...

Be a Good Sport!

-Sol

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Team unity is U.S. hurdlers' biggest obstacle

It's probably good there's no relay element to Olympic hurdle competition. Can you imagine Dawn Harper, Kellie Wells and Lolo Jones having to work as a team on the track? If their off-track behavior gives any indication, a relay could be an utter disaster. Earlier this week, all three competed in the finals of the Women's 100m Hurdles. Harper earned the silver medal while Wells captured the bronze. Jones finished fourth. Instead of congratulating each other, they took shots at each other and the media. We'll start with Jones, whose interview on NBC's "Today" disintegrated into teary-eyed mush (email subscribers click here).

 

Not to be outdone, Harper and Wells also appeared on NBC in a separate interview to express their frustration with the media and presumably their absent teammate.

This is an Olympic-level reality show and it does not look good for the U.S. going forward. Jones, Harper and Wells will all likely be key members of the 2016 Olympic Team. These ladies have four years to make things right and hopefully they will. Time does heal all wounds, but you have to stop hurting each other first. Until next time...

Be a Good Sport!

-Sol

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2012 Coach It Right! Soccer Clinic in pictures

Thanks once again to Coach Denny Vaninger and all the youth soccer coaches who came out for this year's event last Thursday evening. The 80 coaches in the room are responsible for more than 1,000 young soccer players in the St. Louis area. Their commitment to being the best coaches they can be is wholly appreciated by the Sports Commission and the families they serve. More pictures will be available on our Facebook page in the coming days, but enjoy these shots for now. You don't see me because I was hiding when Coach Vaninger put everyone to work. Until next time...

 Be a Good Sport!

-Sol

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Fox 2 interviews Denny Vaninger about Coach It Right! Soccer Clinic

I know. I know. You've been meaning to register for the 2012 Coach It Right! Soccer Clinic being held tonight at 6 p.m. at Maryville University's Simon Athletic Center. Life just sort of gets in the way. That's OK. Big Sol's here to help. You can still register online by clicking here or you can call me at 314-345-5130. Our lead instructor, Coach Denny Vaninger was on with Tim Ezell of Fox 2 in St. Louis this morning. Have a look at their "training session" below (email subscribers click on this link).


As I've said in previous posts, every coach who completes tonight's course will receive his or her 'F' level coaching license from the Missouri Youth Soccer Association free of charge. And for those who won't decide to come until five minutes before leaving work, I have room for you too. No coach who shows up tonight will be turned away. If you make the commitment to your kids to show up, the Sports Commission will make sure you get the best training possible. Enough talk. Go register online or give me a call and I'll see you all tonight. Until next time...

Be a Good Sport!

-Sol

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